Al-Anon meetings often follow a predictable format with a familiar welcome, the steps, and other slogans, sayings, and admonitions about anonymity. After a while you hear the same things over and over again to where they become a part of you. There are times when the familiar loses its punch. "Let Go, Let God", "It works if you work it", "Easy Does it", "One Day at a Time", and many other slogans are repeated frequently. Meetings often end with members saying a prayer, like the serenity prayer, and. chanting "Keep coming back, it works if you work it."

Speakers Meetings are a little different when an invited speaker talks during the time normally used by individuals to share. Some speakers are awesome and I get so much out of listening to them. Others are less interesting - some are even borderline boring. But I have never been to a meeting where I didn't hear something I needed to hear.

When I first became a member of Al-Anon I was sensitive to what was said and done, particularly when a newcomer was there. It seemed so important to me that just the right things were said to convince the newcomer to give the program a try. And I was particularly happy when a gifted speaker or eloquent leader was heard when a newcomer was present.

A newcomer visited an Al-Anon meeting I was at one evening. Newcomers are greeted warmly at meetings because it takes a lot of courage to go to your first meeting, and because every one in the meeting remembers when they first started. My sponsor in the program was there that night. He often leads by example. So he went over and greeted the newcomer and said some remarkably memorable things. I was impressed with just how eloquent he was. After some others had talked to the person I went over and stammered my way through telling her how glad I was she had found Al-Anon, and I hoped she would find encouragement in the meeting. A speaker spoke that night sharing her experience, strength, and hope. She was quite good. It wasn't long before the meeting was over and we went our separate ways.

There was another meeting that weekend. And again my sponsor was there. The meeting started. After a few minutes the newcomer from the earlier meeting walked in and sat down. Near the end of the meeting there was a moment reserved for newcomers to share if they wanted to. Nervously she pointed at me and said "I'm here today because of something that man said to me the other night."

Instantly I lit up with anticipation waiting for my sponsor to hear what insightful words I had given to the newcomer that got her to today's meeting. I could see his interest was piqued too since he had talked to her at lengths that evening. She said "He told me to Keep Coming Back!"

I thought “That wasn't an instruction. That is an Al-Anon greeting! It is like saying Hi, how are you?" And I could see my sponsor's amusement as I learned more about just how Al-Anon works.

You see the important things that happen in an Al-Anon room aren't about great speakers and wise, advice-giving members (in fact Al-Anon’s don't give advice to each other). A newcomer hears what their Higher Power wants them to hear; nothing more, and nothing less.

I have seen it time and time again where a newcomer visits a meeting that is not the perfect meeting or where the speaker was kind of boring. I have left meetings worried that the newcomer won't be back because of something someone said, or didn't say. And yet amazingly the newcomer comes back telling how very helpful the meeting was to them. Of course I have also seen newcomers visit fantastic meetings with excellent speakers never to visit again.

Today I know that a newcomer's Higher Power cares about them so much and about their recovery, that they will hear exactly what is needed when they are ready for healing, and not a moment sooner. What's more, I can be an integral part of that exciting message with great earth-shaking quotes like "Keep coming back!"